南方公园真理之杖武器【宠物“真理”】

　　译/陆玲 　　 　　Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
　　给一只狗买一件玩具，它会永远都玩那个玩具；给一只猫买份礼物，它也就玩儿10分钟的包装纸。
　　
　　Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
　　尽管猫咪是相当脆弱的动物，很容易患各种病，可我从未听说有哪只猫曾饱受失眠的折磨。
　　
　　Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
　　狗儿们拥有主人，而猫儿们则拥有伺候自己的全体员工。
　　
　　Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
　　猫啊狗啊都本能地知道它们主人睡醒的确切时间，于是它们会提前10分钟把主人叫醒。
　　
　　In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
　　为了对自身价值持有真实客观的认识，每个人都应该养只狗来崇拜自己，同时还要养只猫来忽视自己。
　　
　　Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
　　千万别因为你的狗崇拜你就确信自己很了不起。
　　 （摘自《英语学习》）