[出生顺序决定你的个性命运？] 命运石之门观看顺序

　　记得念初一时，一位同时教我和弟弟英语的老师曾很困惑地问我：“你和你弟怎么那么不同？简直一个天，一个地。你读书那么认真，又不好动，你弟却活蹦乱跳的，整天玩，一点都不喜欢读书。”回到家把话转给妈妈听，弟弟倒在一旁机灵地插话：“那不就好咯，我们家文武双全嘛。”哈哈，听来好像也很有道理。^_^
　　从没想过出生顺序还能与个性、命运搭上关系，直到读到这篇文章，嘿嘿，有意思。文章还讲到一个现象，国外的父母往往对第一个孩子投资最大，花的心血最多。而在国内，似乎家里最疼爱的多半还是最小的那个哦……
　　――Lavender
　　
　　It could not have been easy being Elliott Roosevelt. If the alcohol wasn’t getting him, the 1)morphine was. If it wasn’t the morphine, it was the struggle with depression. Then, of course, there were the constant comparisons with big brother Teddy who later became President at age 42.
　　Elliott Roosevelt was not the only younger sibling of an 2)eventual President to cause his family heartaches―or at least headaches. There was Roger Clinton and his year in jail on a
　　cocaine conviction. And there is Neil Bush, younger sib of both a President and a Governor, implicated in the savings-and-loan scandals of the 1980s.
　　It can’t be easy being a 3)runt in a litter that includes a President. But it couldn’t have been easy being Billy Ripken either, an unexceptional major league 4)infielder craning his neck for notice while the press swarmed around Hall of Famer and elder brother Cal. And you may have never heard of Tisa Farrow, an actress of no particular note beyond her work in the 1979 horror film 5)Zombie, but odds are you’ve heard of her sister 6)Mia.
　　Of all the things that shape who we are, few seem more arbitrary than the sequence in which we and our siblings 7)pop out of the womb. Maybe it’s your genes that make you a gifted athlete, your training that makes you an accomplished actress, an accident of brain chemistry that makes you a drunk instead of a President. But in family after family, case study after case study, the simple roll of the birth-date 8)dice has an odd and arbitrary power all its own.
　　In June 2008, a group of Norwegian researchers released a study showing that firstborns are generally smarter than any siblings who come along later, enjoying on average a three-point IQ advantage over the next eldest―probably a result of the intellectual boost that comes from mentoring younger siblings and helping them in day-to-day tasks. The second child, in turn, is a point ahead of the third. While three points might not seem like much, the effect can be enormous. “In many
　　families,” says psychologist Frank Sulloway, the man who has for decades been seen as the U.S.’s leading authority on birth order, “the firstborn is going to get into Harvard and the second-born isn’t.”
　　The differences don’t stop there. Studies in the Philippines show that later-born siblings tend to be shorter and weigh less than earlier-borns. Younger siblings are less likely to be 9)vaccinated than older ones, with last-borns getting immunized sometimes at only half the rate of
　　firstborns. Eldest siblings are also disproportionately represented in high-paying professions. Younger siblings, by contrast, are 10)looser cannons and less educated, but statistically likelier to live the exhilarating life of an artist or a comedian, an adventurer, entrepreneur or firefighter. And middle children? Well, they can be a puzzle―even to researchers.
本文为全文原貌 未安装PDF浏览器用户请先下载安装 原版全文 　　For families, none of this comes as a surprise. There are few extended clans that can’t point to the firstborn, who makes the best grades, keeps the other kids in line and, when Mom and Dad grow old, winds up as caretaker and executor too. There are few that can’t point to the lost-in-the-thickets middle-born or the wild-child last-born.
　　While the eldest in an overpopulated brood has it relatively easy―getting 100% of the food the parents have available―things get stretched thinner when a second-born comes along. Later-borns put even more pressure on resources. Over time, everyone might be getting the same rations, but the firstborn still enjoys a caloric 11)head start that might never be overcome.
　　Food is not the only resource. There’s time and attention too and the emotional nourishment they
　　provide. It’s not for nothing that family scrapbooks are usually stuffed with pictures and report cards of the firstborn and successively fewer of the later-borns. Educational opportunities can be unevenly shared too, particularly in families that can afford the tuition bills of only one child. Families invest a lot in the firstborn. And they thrive. In a recent survey of corporate heads conducted by 12)Vistage, an international organization of CEOs, poll takers reported that 43% of the people who occupy the big chair in boardrooms are firstborns, 33% are middle-borns and 23% are last-borns. Eldest siblings are disproportionately represented among surgeons and MBAs too, according to Stanford University psychologist Robert Zajonc.
　　For eldest siblings, this is a pretty sweet deal. There is not much incentive for them to change a family system that provides them so many goodies, and typically they don’t try to. Younger siblings see things differently and struggle early on to shake up the existing order. They clearly don’t have size on their side, as their physically larger siblings keep them in line with what researchers call a high-power strategy.
　　But there are low-power strategies too, and one of the most effective ones is humor. It’s awfully hard to resist the charms of someone who can make you laugh, and families abound with stories of last-borns who are the 13)clowns of the brood, able to get their way simply by being funny or outrageous. Birth-order scholars often observe that some of history’s great satirists―Voltaire, 14)Jonathan Swift, Mark Twain―were among the youngest members of large families, a pattern that continues today. American comedian 15)Stephen Colbert―who yields to no one in his ability to get a laugh―often points out that he’s the last of 11 children. Such examples might be little more than anecdotal, but personality tests show that while firstborns score especially well on the dimension of temperament known as conscientiousness―a sense of general responsibility and follow-through―later-borns score higher on what’s known as agreeableness, or the simple ability to get along in the world.
　　Later-borns are similarly willing to take risks with their physical safety. All sibs are equally likely to be involved in sports, but younger ones are likelier to choose the kinds that could cause injury. “They don’t go out for tennis,” Sulloway says. “They go out for rugby, ice hockey. Even when siblings play the same sport, they play it differently.” Research by Ben Dattner, a professor of industrial and organizational psychology at New York University, is showing that even when later-borns take conservative jobs, they approach their work in a high-wire way. Firstborn CEOs, for
本文为全文原貌 未安装PDF浏览器用户请先下载安装 原版全文 　　example, do best when they’re making 16)incremental improvements in their companies: shedding
　　underperforming products, maximizing profits from existing lines and generally making sure the trains run on time. Later-born CEOs are more inclined to blow up the trains and lay new track. “Later-borns are better at transformational change,” says Dattner. “They pursue riskier, more innovative, more creative approaches.”
　　If eldest sibs are the dogged achievers and youngest sibs are the gamblers and visionaries, where does this leave those in between? That it’s so hard to define what middle-borns become is largely due to the fact that it’s so hard to define who they are growing up. The youngest in the family, but only until someone else comes along, they are both teacher and student, babysitter and babysat, too young for the privileges of the firstborn but too old for the latitude given the last. Middle children are expected to 17)step up to the plate when the eldest child goes off to school or in some other way drops out of the picture. Middlings are never alone and thus never get 100% of the parents’ investment of time and money.
　　
　　当艾略特・罗斯福一点儿也不容易。不是酗酒，就是吗啡成瘾；走得出吗啡魔爪，又逃不开抑郁症的折磨；当然，更不要说，几乎所有人都拿他和他哥哥泰迪（昵称，实为西奥多・罗斯福）作比较，后者在42岁时成为美国总统。
　　在美国总统的家史中，艾略特・罗斯福并不是唯一一个让总统家族心痛、或者至少是头痛的“总统弟弟”。还有克林顿总统的弟弟罗杰・克林顿，因涉及可卡因交易被判入狱，以及有位总统哥哥及州长哥哥的尼尔・布什，在上世纪80年代牵连多起储蓄贷款丑闻。
　　在走出一位总统的家庭里做一个小萝卜头肯定不容易，但要做比利・瑞普肯一定也不容易。他是美国一主要职业棒球队中的一名普通内场手，他那已进入棒球名人堂的哥哥卡尔・瑞普肯总被媒体包围得水泄不通，而他却得努力伸长脖子招人注意。或许你从没听说过蒂莎・法罗，这位女演员除了在1979年出演过恐怖电影《僵尸》之外就没什么特别值得一提的，但你很可能听说过她的姐姐米娅・法罗。
　　在所有塑造我们成为现在这个样子的因素中，几乎没什么比我们和我们的兄弟姐妹从娘胎里钻出来的顺序更随意的了。或许是你的基因决定你成为一名出色的运动员，或许是艰苦的训练决定你成为一名有造诣的演员，或许脑内意外发生的化学反应让你成为一个酒鬼，而不是总统，但一个又一个家庭、一个又一个案例的研究结果显示，单单是出生的顺序就对个人的命运有着一种不寻常而独断的影响。
　　2008年6月，一群挪威研究人员公布的一项研究表明，家中第一个出生的孩子大体要比晚出生的孩子聪明，他们的智商平均比第二个孩子高出3点――这很可能是因为他们每天要管教以及帮助弟弟妹妹应付日常生活和学习，而第二个孩子的平均智商依次比第三个孩子高出1点。智商高出3点也许看上去并不多，但影响却很大。心理学家弗兰克・苏洛威（几十年来在美国研究出生顺序的顶尖权威人士）说：“对于很多家庭来说，这意味着第一个孩子能进哈佛大学，第二个则不能”。
　　差别还不止于此。菲律宾国内的研究显示，家庭里晚出生的孩子在身高和体重方面都劣于早出生的孩子。他们也往往没像早出生的孩子那样接受疫苗接种，有时候最后一个孩子获得的免疫力只有第一个孩子的一半。在高收入人群中，长子或长女的比率明显大。相比之下，弟弟妹妹们多半“不羁”，受教育程度较低。但从统计学的角度看，弟弟妹妹们更有可能成为艺术家或者喜剧演员、冒险家、企业家或者消防员，过着自己喜欢的生活。至于排行中间的孩子，就算对研究人员来说，也还是谜团一个。
　　对于很多家庭来说，以上的那些情况很正常。绝大多数家庭的父母在说起家里哪个孩子的学习成绩最好，哪个孩子最能管教其他孩子，父母老了以后哪个孩子更适合承担继承人的角色，都无一例外说的是最年长的孩子。如果说到平庸无奇，多半是说中间的孩子，说到“野孩子”，那肯定指最小的那个。
　　在人口过多的家庭中，最年长的孩子相对活得安乐一些，他们一开始会获得父母能提供的全部食物，但是在第二胎出生后，资源就少了，再后面出生的孩子又会给资源带来更大的压力。尽管一段时间后，每个孩子也许获得的资源是等量的，但第一个孩子最初多获的卡路里，是之后的孩子永远不可能超过的。
　　食物不是唯一的资源，还有父母投入的时间、精力和关爱。不然家庭相册里怎么会通常塞满第一个孩子的照片和成绩单，较晚出生的孩子则依次减少。接受教育的机会也不是均等的，尤其在那些只能负担起一个孩子的学费的家庭里。家庭对第一个孩子的投资很大，于是他们茁壮成长。全球公司总裁联合组织维仕坦最近对企业高层做的调查显示，在董事会坐头把交椅的有43%是长子/女；33%是排行中间的孩子，23%是家庭中最小的孩子。根据斯坦福大学心理学家罗伯特・扎荣茨的研究和统计，外科医生和拥有MBA文凭的人群中，长子/女的比重也同样大大超出家中其他排行的人。
　　对于做大哥哥大姐姐的孩子们来说，这是一笔很“划算”的买卖。改变家庭制度对他们来说并没太多好处，所以他们往往不会去尝试。而年轻的弟弟妹妹们看法可不同，他们很早就开始努力打乱现有次序。显然他们在块头上不占便宜，因为有体形更大的哥哥姐姐们用一种研究者称之为“高权位者策略”的东西将他们牢牢控制住。
　　不过也有“低权位者策略”，其中最有效的一个策略就是幽默。一个能让你捧腹大笑的人的魅力是难以抵挡的。最后一个出生的孩子在家中往往扮演“小丑”的角色，仅凭幽默或“放肆”就能营生，家里充满了他们的趣事。研究出生顺序的学者们常常观察到历史上一些伟大的讽刺作家――伏尔泰、乔纳森・斯威夫特、马克・吐温――都是大家庭中年纪最小的孩子，这一现象持续到现在。逗笑能力无人能及的美国喜剧演员斯蒂
　　芬・科尔特就常常指出，自己是11个兄弟姐妹中排名最后的那个。这类例子也许充其量不过是名人轶事罢了，然而性格测试显示出，第一胎在性格测评中“尽责”一项上得分优异――指的是“总体责任感”和“坚持不懈”的品质――而晚出生的孩子在“随和”或者说圆滑处世的能力方面得分更高。
　　晚出生的孩子大多愿意舍身冒险。虽然兄弟姐妹们都可能参与一些运动，但是排行小的那些更可能选择那些会让人受伤的运动。苏洛威说：“他们不会去打网球，而会去打橄榄球、冰上曲棍球。即便大家参加的是同一种体育运动，他们玩的方式也与别不同。”纽约大学实业及组织心理学教授本・丹特纳的研究表明，即便出生顺序排在后面的人干的是一份保守的工作，他们在工作中仍会去冒险。举例说吧，首席执行官如果是家中老大，那他在负责公司渐进式改善方面的工作时往往最得心应手：砍掉不好卖的产品，把现有产品线的利润最大化，总体确保工作依时开展。而首席执行官如果是家中晚出生的那些，则更愿意把各项安排打乱，开创新路子。丹特纳说：“晚出生的人更擅长于‘转型式’的改革，他们追求的方式更具风险性、创新性和创造性。”
　　如果说家庭中最年长的孩子们是经过顽强拼搏的成功者，最后出生的孩子可以说是赌徒和梦想家，那么夹在中间的孩子呢？要定义排行中间的孩子的成就相当难，很大部分原因是很难定义在成长过程中他们扮演什么样的角色：他们刚出生时是家中最年幼的孩子，不过等到有了弟弟妹妹，他们的角色就发生了变化，既要当“老师”又要当“学生”；既是“保姆”，自己又是一个被照顾的人。他们不够资格享有长子/女的“特权”，以及幼子的自由放肆。排行中间的孩子往往在年纪最大的孩子入学或以其他方式退出了“家庭舞台”后，就得开始“扛起重任”。中间的孩子从来都不是孤军作战，所以从来不会获得父母100%的时间和金钱投入。
　　
　　
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